I'm happy to report it went almost perfectly! In fact, some of the people who've been in the ward their whole lives said it was the best turn-out they've seen for this event. That may have to do with the whole "no-activities-forever" fact, but I'll still label this one a success.
It couldn't have happened without my man. He set up the volleyball net while I picked up the softball equipment from the church. He also saw to it the Igloo coolers got filled, requiring him to recruit some elders and drive them to the other end of the park to the only water spigots they could find.
There was plenty of food, and laughs, and most people got out and played something. Now I can breath a sigh of relief... until the next one!